To Be So Loved
by OCDdegrassi
Summary: Mithian finds comfort in Merlin's arms after their ordeal with Morgana and King Odin. Takes place at the end of "Another's Sorrow". Includes episode spoilers for Season 5, Episode 4. Merlin/Mithian.


**Title:** To Be So Loved  
**Author:** OCDegrassi (Holly)  
**Pairings:** Merlin/Mithian  
**Rating:** K+  
**Warnings:** Mentions of Violence, Kissing, Slight Angst  
**Note: **I have loved Merlin/Mithian since she first appeared in Season 4. They just look adorable together. This story takes place at the end of Season 5, Episode 4, titled "Another's Sorrow", as a sort of added scene. There are spoilers for that episode in here, so turn back if you have not already seen it. This may or may not continue, depending on whether people want it to or not. If it does continue, the rating will go up.

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Merlin was pulling the sheets up on the bed as he heard the door open from behind him. He glanced to see who entering and was met with the sight of Mithian. "Princess," he greeted. "I'm almost done here." She smiled warmly at him, and he returned it happily. Her smile had a way of brightening up the room, and he could help but feel lighter when it was directed at him. As he continued making the bed, she walked to stand by the foot of it, and he could feel her eyes on him. He stopped his work and returned her gaze. "Is there anything else I can help you with?" She shook her head politely. "No, thank you, Merlin…" She trailed off, but Merlin could tell that she wanted to say more, so he waited patiently for her to continue. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

Merlin shook his head. "You have nothing to be sorry about. You were trying to protect your father. Morgana did this; not you," he said sincerely but firmly. She cast her eyes down in shame. "Arthur almost died because of me. And you... Morgana warned me not to test her, but I tried to tell you anyway. She almost killed you because of me." Tears filled her eyes as she looked sadly into his. "I don't know if I could have forgiven myself if something had happened to Arthur…or you."

Merlin set the sheets down and walked over to her. She was looking at the floor with remorse, and he gently placed a hand on her chin to lift her face to meet his gaze. "This is not your fault, and no one blames you. You tried to warn me about Morgana so that I could save Arthur. There was no way that you could have known that Morgana would figure it out. So please, don't blame yourself." The tears began to fall down her face and her lip quivered. "My father almost died. I was so scared." Her voice broke, and she threw herself into his chest and wrapped her arms around him as she sobbed. The tears began to soak through his shirt as her body trembled from crying.

He wrapped his own arms around her waist and rubbed her back in comfort. "I know." He didn't say anything more, and he didn't have to. Just being held by him was enough for Mithian. She had grown rather found of the manservant ever since their first meeting. He was loyal and incredibly kind, and he was wiser than most people gave him credit for. She could tell that from the way he was opposed to Arthur marrying her. At first, she had just thought that Merlin didn't like her, but once she realized that he knew that Arthur belonged with Guinevere, Mithian had developed a sense of respect for him. He knew that love was more important than all else, and he only wanted to see his friend be happy; and that was the other thing.

Arthur and he were actually friends. Arthur valued his opinion above all others, even if he refused to admit it, and there was a reason for that. Merlin was special. Even when she had returned to ask for help with her father, he had been the only one to sense that something was off. He paid enough attention to her that he could read the fear in her expression, and she trusted him implicitly with the truth about Morgana. She had complete faith that he would know what to do. But she hadn't counted on Morgana figuring out her plan before he had a chance to do anything. He had almost been killed because of her, and the guilt was eating away at her. Yet, here he was, completely forgiving and understanding, trying to comfort her. She pulled away and laughed nervously. "I'm sorry. You came to make the bed, and here I am, crying on you."

Merlin smiled sympathetically. "It's alright. You've been through a lot. I'm here if you need to talk, or just need a shoulder to cry on." Her face was wet with tears, and he brought his hand up to wipe them off. Her eyes were shining and he was lost in the sea of her beauty. She was truly incredible. She was so beautiful and so brave. That's why the fear in her eyes had startled Merlin. She was too strong for that, and he knew that something was wrong. She was also the most kind and caring person he'd ever met. Even being a princess, she had always treated him with respect. She would have made a great queen for Camelot. If Arthur hadn't already been in love with Gwen, he would have been lucky to marry her. Merlin also had to admit that it made him feel happy that she had trusted him enough to try and tell him about Morgana, even when she was being threatened.

The way that Merlin was looking at her was more than she could bear. He didn't look at her like she was a princess. He looked at her like she was special; not her title, just her. She slowly leaned in and kissed him lightly. His mind was screaming at him to pull away because this was wrong; she was a princess and he was just a servant, but the feel of her lips on his was electrifying. He felt butterflies in his stomach, and he couldn't stop himself. He returned the kiss gently and his entire body was tingling. She could feel warmth spread throughout her body and her head started to feel fuzzy. Neither wanted the kiss to ever end.

When they finally did part for air, they looked into each other's eyes with longing and a huge smile spread across both their faces. "Arthur once said that he would risk his entire kingdom for Guinevere, and I told him that I would give up my own kingdom to be so loved. I still mean that." Her words were hopeful, and Merlin could hear the underlying question in them. He smiled sadly and stepped back. "I would never want that for you, Princess. You are an amazing woman, and I would be the luckiest man in the world to be with you, but your people need you. Your place is in Nemeth, and mine is here."

She nodded sadly and touched his arm. "I understand." She let her hand drop and his arm felt cold at the loss of contact. She began to walk for the door, but his voice stopped her. "If things were different…" he didn't finish his sentence, but he knew that she understood. She turned to him and gave him one last, sad smile. "I know," she said quietly and walked out, leaving Merlin feeling more alone than he had felt in a long time.

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**A/N:** So what did you think? I know it's a depressing ending, but it's realistic for the two of them. However, I may be open to continuing this as a multi-chapter fic with a happier ending. Thoughts? Please Review!


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